Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Everyday Struggles


The struggles everyone go through, put a burden on you, and can put you in a place you don’t want to be. This is to inspire you, to get through whatever you may be going through, and for you to help someone else through their struggles.
They say you are your own worst enemy. And it’s true. When I don’t believe in myself, I criticize myself, I feel bad for myself, and I put myself through things that is unlike me. These are my struggles. I struggle with dealing with Multiple Sclerosis, a seizure disorder, school/work, keeping my faith, depression, and my appearance. Some of my struggles are not struggles anymore the are achievements is my book but others are still a work in progress.
I am struggling with my MS because all these years of going back and forth to the doctor and they never found anything and I was healthy. So, for this chronic disease to just pop up and it’s not curable scared me. With that I had problems coping with it because I may have to live with it for the rest of my life. The pain by itself is hard to deal with, but all the other symptoms I have with the pain would drive someone crazy. I have been very forgetful (a side effect of the medication), trying to keep up with all the medication, the names of them, and when I supposed to take them is a lot. This is something I am still working on.
I was recently diagnosed with a Seizure Disorder and I really didn’t know what to think about it. I remember the first time I woke up after having the seizure, police officers and EMTs all in my house and I didn’t even know why until my parents told me. This is a struggle to me because these seizures came out of nowhere, doctors don’t know why I am having them, and they continue to this day. I did think there was hope because they stopped for two months and came back from the dark shadows. These seizures have taken so much from me like my independence, my memory, my confidents and my energy. I am just ready for them to stop. I also have a Sleeping Disorder, which causes me to stay awake at night, be tired or falling asleep during the day. I always feel tired and I can never catch up on sleep no matter how hard I try.
With all I go through I get weary, I am sad, want to be do myself, and just lost all interest in things. I was depressed and it caused me to do things I would not do. I started this blog to keep myself busy, from having so many thoughts on my mind and just to give insight on my life. I started drawing again and gave myself goals to focus on when I felt down. I am not the kind of person that would keep letting things change who I am.
College has always been a struggle for me since day one. Community college was on my friend at all. It seemed like I was failing every other class I took and I don’t like to fail. After receiving some credits, I decided to transfer to a university to try and fix things. Once I enrolled into the university, I was passing my classes with flying color. I always stayed above a 3.0 GPA and still do. When I finally thought, things were looking bright for me, I was kicked out of school, was out for a year and a half and I was also unemployed. Once again, depression was trying to come back around and get me. I finally got a job and could try to get back in school. This gave me hope that things would get better. Even though it took a while I returned to school and now I am one step closer to getting my bachelors in Engineering Management Technology.
Even though I have my struggles I don’t let them define who I am or get in the way of what I want to do in my life. These are a few of the things I struggle with on a day to day basis and I hope they get you through.
-          Marla 👄

Finances Issues
Struggles I go through is trying to be financially stable. It's hard when you want to do for your children but can't because you don't have the money to do it. That's why I am hard on them when it comes to education. I tell them "you have to be better than me!" I don't want them to struggle like I do. This is a struggle I think most or all family go through. I believe what I don't have in money I have in knowledge so they can be wiser then I was.
-          Mrs. S 💖


Self Esteem and Self Worth Issues
I used to rely on others to encourage me, uplift me, push me and make me feel better about myself. However, learning to work thru the struggle is an ongoing process. As individuals, we are supposed to evolve and grow but we must do the work. We can't be stagnant. In my 35 years of life I've learned that it's my job to encourage myself, push myself, love myself and be good to myself. When I feel, myself slipping I get in the mirror and say bitch get your life. You are destined for greatness and you are the shit. Then I give myself the side eye and say yeah, she tried it!! I tell myself that I am everything. I say V..bitch you are just MORE. I blow myself a kiss, brush my shoulders off, wipe my tears and play Estelle song conquer. After I finish singing all off key. I say if you need me I’ll be here waiting on you tomorrow bitch. Now come thru hunty!!! ❤❤
-           Mrs. V

How do I deal with personal struggles? I pray and I talked to God, I tell him everything. My strength comes from my relationship with God, there have been times when I was at my lowest; unable to take another step and I was given the strength to push through. I cry when no one is around and when everyone is asleep, asking God for direction, for a sign!!! Anything to give me hope, some direction; to help me deal with all of life's demands, I have so many pressures and people counting on me. There is no greater comforter than knowing that God hears me and supplies all.
  -        Mrs. Q 💗💗

TO BE CONTINUED...





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